The Wedding Theory
by let.me.beyourescape
Summary: She was just dumped. He was having troubles at work. Their resort was Las Vegas. One drunk night leads to marriage in the mourning. SasuSaku KakaAnko
1. Chapter 1

I've never told a lie and that makes me a liar,

I've never made a bet but we gamble with desire,

I've never lit a match with the intent to start a fire,

But recently the flames are getting out of control

Jasey Rae -- All Time Low

* * *

"Ino," a woman sobbed out. "How could he just dump me, after eighteen months of dating he decides were not right for each other?"

The girl, Ino, put a comforting arm around her best friend. "Sak, maybe you weren't right for each other. I mean he wasn't the perfect man. You could do better."

Sakura Haruno. Age twenty-three. Pink hair, green eyes. Currently working on her degree in medical care.

Her boyfriend had just dumped her, supposedly they just didn't fit together. So, leaving the apartment they shared crying, she opted for the best choice: run to her best friend.

"He couldn't have figured that out seventeen months ago?!" Sakura yelled, moving away from Ino.

"He was a douche, what do you expect?" Ino asked, shrugging her shoulders. "I'm going to go make some smoothies, when I come back we'll figure out what were going to do."

Sakura nodded as Ino got up and made her way to the kitchen.

* * *

"Sasuke, this was a very important business meeting, how could you just screw it up like that?" A stern red-faced man asked another sitting on the couch.

"I don't know," Sasuke replied with a role of his eyes. "I mean honestly what was I thinking?"

Sasuke Uchiha. Age twenty-five. Black hair, black eyes. Working in his family business, Uchiha Inc.

"Don't use your sarcasm on me young man," Fugaku, his father said. "Itachi wouldn't have messed it up."

Sasuke abruptly stood up. "That's the thing, dad! I'm not Itachi!"

And with that outburst Sasuke stomped out of the room, leaving a disgruntled father wondering what had just happened.

The young man glared at everything and everyone on his way to his office. He was tired of being compared to his older brother, the perfect one. Itachi. How he hated that name, he was the perfect prodigy. Sasuke just couldn't live up to his father's standards.

"Sasuke! There you are! Do you know how long I've been waiting for your slow ass?"

Sasuke groaned as he saw his loud best friend sitting in his chair feet perched atop his desk. Of course Naruto would show up at a time like this. The black haired man chose to ignore his obnoxious friend and instead started to pack up his things for the day.

"Aww come on! Tell me what happened. Did the big bad man hurt Sasuke's feelings?" Naruto said in a baby voice.

"Naruto I'm not in the mood, piss me off and I'll jam your nuts. Now, let's blow this joint and head to the bar," Sasuke grabbed the rest of his things, waited until Naruto was out, and started locking up his office.

* * *

"Maybe you should get away for a little bit. Go to California. No, go to Hawaii!" Ino squealed just thinking about all the guys that would have there shirts off. Aloha!

"I don't have that kind of money, but getting away from all this does sound nice," Sakura started to think about all the possible places she could go.

They sat in silence for the longest time, each trying to think of a brilliant place that they could go. That silence was broken however, the bleach blonde jumping up from her sitting position already shouting about her idea.

"Where can you go where it doesn't matter where you come from, what you do, or what happened? You can do anything, and then forget all about it and no one will ask questions," Ino asked looking at Sakura knowingly.

"Utah?"

"No, Sakura not Utah. I'm talking about the gambling capitol of the world, Las Vegas baby!" Ino yelled out the excitement pulsing through her.

Realization struck Sakura and she stood up too. "Hey, yeah! Your right! Wait Ino, how are you going to get time off to come with me?"

"I'm not. But I know the perfect person," Ino said some what deviously.

"And who would that be?"

"Mitarashi Anko."

* * *

Sasuke slammed his drink down on the bar. "You know what Naruto? Itachi, my father and the whole fucking business can go suck cock! I'm tired of that shit-hole. I should take a vacation! I so deserve one."

Naruto smiled at the drunk Sasuke falling off his chair. "Your right you do! And where the hell are you gonna go?"

"Maybe New York or Tokyo."

"Where did that come from those two places have nothing to do with each other?"

The drunk man looked down at the bar thinking. Thinking hard. He needed the perfect place. At that exact moment a couple walked by and he caught part of the conversation. Eavesdropper.

"... married in Las Vegas."

"That's it Naruto let's go to Las Vegas!"

Naruto took a sip of his beer and put it back down. "We?"

"Yes we. You expect me to go alone?" Sasuke said astonished, well as astonished as he could with beer in his mouth.

"But there's this chick with a big rack and she's this close to putting out," Naruto put up two fingers with almost no room separating them.

"In Vegas you can get as many big racks as you want."

"But in Vegas you have to pay."

Sasuke put his head in his hands. "Who am I supposed to go with then?"

"You Could go with Hatake Kakashi," Naruto gestured for the bartender to give him a refill.

Sasuke sat up, "Kakashi...."

"Yeah, knowing that pervert he'll say yes in a second." Naruto leaned back in his chair, watching a girl in a tight mini dress walk by.

"Maybe. Come on I wanna go throw up on the side of the building," Sasuke got up put down some bills and started to walk out, Naruto trailing behind.

* * *

A/N: Hello there! So with this story I tried to be as funny as I could. If your saying, "She has no sense of humor at all, she should give up trying to be a comedian." well then your an asshole. Saying that about my dreams and aspirations is just total douche bag move. But I was watching X-Men while watching this (Still trying to get over how fucking sexy Hugh Jackman is) so maybe that's why this isn't the greatest thing ever. I know this sounds a lot like 'What Happens in Vegas' but that's where I got the idea, I'm trying to make it less like the movie. So read, review reduce, reuse, recycle, whatever you like.

Love, peace and chicken grease

..


	2. Chapter 2

I'm gonna tear your ass up like we just got married

And you're all mine now

Tonight is the night we've been waiting for all our lives

Or maybe for just tonight

Bedroom Talk -- The Starting Line

* * *

"Enjoy your flight Ma'am."

Sakura took her ticket from the Customer Service girl and made her way down the aisle that led to the plane. She went ahead with her plan to take a trip to Las Vegas and was supposed to meet up with Anko on the plane.

Walking onto the plane seeing the smiling flight attendants, she looked at her ticket and began looking for her seat. Lucky her, she got a window seat.

"You know, if I were you, I'd have sex with me."

Sakura looked up at the familiar voice of Anko. She was leaning against a seat flirting with some stranger. He smirked at her and before he could say anything Sakura went up and pulled Anko away.

"Hey, Sakura!" Her excitement at seeing her soon died down when she realized what Sakura did. "Man, I can't believe you cock blocked me like that!"

"Cock block?" Sakura asked with a raise of her eyebrow.

"Well vagina block doesn't rhyme now does it?" She asked like it should have been completely obvious.

Sakura didn't reply to that and just made her way to her seat, Anko following right behind. She put her carry on luggage into the overhead and then settled down for the plane ride.

"Hey, Sak. Thanks for letting me come along. I assure you we will have a fantastical time!" Anko said jumping in her seat a little.

Sakura smiled, rested her head against her seat and looked out the window anticipating the adventure she was about to go on.

* * *

"Where the hell is he?" Sasuke mumbled under his breath. He was sitting on the plane all ready to go, the only thing missing was the person that was supposed to be seated next to him. Sasuke looked out the window hoping to somehow see Kakashi coming onto the plane.

"Bye Kakashi!" Sasuke looked toward the front of the plane to see a flight attendant smiling and waving toward the silver-haired man.

Sasuke raised an eyebrow.

"What? So I'm a little late. Nothing a little sweet talk couldn't handle."

He sat down next to Sasuke and took out a little orange book.

"Put that away!" Sasuke whispered harshly, trying to take the book away from the pervert. "You can't read porn on the plane. Are you crazy?"

Kakashi held the book away from him, trying to push him away with his foot he calmly replied, "Chill. It's just something to entertain myself with on this boring plane ride. Do you have anything else planned? If not sit down and leave me to my reading."

Sasuke situated himself back into his seat with a frown on his face, clearly not pleased that he did not put the book away.

* * *

"Holy fucking balls, man! Check out this dome," Anko burst into the hotel room and started to go through everything. "Uh oh. Sakura, looks like we got the Honeymoon Suite," Anko pulled out a condom from a little bowl on the side of the bed.

The room was actually pretty fancy. Elegant bedspreads, nice furniture, they even had one of those mini fridges.

"So, be ready at seven o' clock. Were hitting the clubs, maybe do a little gambling, get a Popsicle, eat a donut. Yeah, this is gonna be a fun vacation," Anko smiled and made her way to the bathroom to get ready.

Sakura sighed and sat down on the bed. This was so gonna be a night to remember.

* * *

"I call top bunk!" Kakashi yelled as he busted into the room.

"Kakashi, there are two separate beds. Therefore, you can not call top bunk," Sasuke came into the room with all the luggage Kakashi didn't grab.

Ignoring Sasuke, Kakashi spun around the room, very elegantly as a matter of fact, probably those ballet dancing he took as a kid.

He let out a low whistle, "Wow, Sasuke, you picked out a pretty wicked room."

"Yeah, I did didn't I," replied the cocky bastard. He started to unzip his luggage and pulled out a toothbrush and toothpaste. "Well I'm tired so I'm just gonna go to bed."

Kakashi stopped him half way to the bathroom. "Oh no. We just got here. Every minute is going to be spent having a good time. You go get ready though. Ready for a night of dancing, drinking, and fucking." Ah quotes to live by Kakashi.

* * *

"Give me two Quick Fuck's!" Anko slammed some money onto the counter.

"What's a Quick Fuck?!" Sakura yelled at Anko, the music was loud enough that you had to yell to be heard.

"Something that'll go down real easy."

The bartender handed them two shot glasses. Anko put her hands behind her back and used her mouth to shoot the alcohol.

"Come on Sakura try it!" Anko pushed her a little.

Sakura gulped and did the same thing Anko did. After that it all got kinda fuzzy. Sakura was officially a light weight.

* * *

"What can I get ya?" The half-naked bartender asked over the music.

"Two Hop, Skip, and Go Naked's," Kakashi replied. He turned to Sasuke and put his hand on his shoulder. "Now Sasuke, I want you to let loose. Seriously have some fun. Find a sexy girl and dance. The drinks will help you with the rest."

Sasuke nodded and took the drink the bartender gave him and downed it as fast as he could. He then ordered Cum in a Hot Tub and Dirty Pompadour, drank those as quick as he could and made his way to the dance floor.

* * *

A/N: I know how extremely short this is, but I wanted to have them be drunk in a whole other chapter, so to make up for this chapter I will make the next one long. I looked up the funniest drink names I could find I haven't tried any of them yet, but I'm not sure I want to cause I saw some of the ingredients in these drinks. Ew. On a total subject change, who else can't wait to see Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince? God, I'm so excited!

Disclaimer: Forgot it in the last chapter so here. I don't own anything but the plot of the story. Everything else belongs to it's rightful owner.

Love, Peace, and Chicken Grease

..


End file.
